Sciatica Medical Crises Update

Sciatica Medical crises update

I know a lot is happening in the world.  I thought i should not focus on my pain. But omg omg i felt like I will die. 

A few days back i posted one blog and the link is here in case you wish to read. And below that I’ll continue with an update. 

Intense Level 10 Pain & Zero Vertical Tolerance 

I got up on Monday,  August 24 with unbearable pain related to my sciatica and thankfully I came down the stairs but right away the pain got so intense I thought I will faint. I almost ran to the sofa and threw myself. Then I called every kaiser within several miles. No one had a pain shot appointment available and in the evening someone called to schedule for November.  They said ER won’t do much. I felt it was my time to die. Fortunately I remembered AI and I got advised to ask my doc to put in a prescription for oral steroid, she did and AI told me to be patient and give it 36 hours to work.  The whole time I was writhing in level 10 pain and hardly drank water because bathroom visit put me in screaming mode. When 36 hours yielded zero results AI told me to call 911 and get to the hospital and I did get to the hospital in an ambulance. 

ER

At the ER they gave me a morphine shot. Doctor just said this is your treatment. (Dr Prince looked exhausted, cold, uninterested, not having a clue of my condition. She was clear she gave a shot and i needed to leave. I don’t name her so she loses her job.  We need all brilliant healthcare personnel. But a system must equip them with some resources, some sleep hours, some soft training in addition to their critical subject matter skills and not leave them so depleted). Nurse told me i must leave and recover at home and gave me 5 minutes to be ready to leave.  I said I can’t go home like this.  Fortunately a kind friend was on standby. I called him, he arrived and he became my super advocate.  He insisted i get an xray to rule out compression fracture and then told the doctor he will not drive me home unless my pain is treated and brought down a bit from level 10. Doc changed and a new doc was responsive and he discussed a massive cocktail of drugs with my friend and then gave me 4 or so shots plus patches. I didn’t move until I could walk to the bathroom,  albeit still in intense pain. I got opiates in hand and drove home.

Pain meds wore off 

I was back in level 10 pain the next day. I felt like I was shipped off by ICE to a third world country to die. Fortunately Kaiser called saying there was a CANCELLATION and they can schedule Epidural Cortisone shot on September 3. That meant several days stay laying down on the same spot on the sofa, eat while laying down, do painful screaming bathroom trips, stay on steroids and opiates. BUT there may be light at the end of this dark tunnel.  I felt panic, I stared, I watched with a heavy heart intense misery unleashed in Nepal but also in so many places in the world. And I counted minutes to my own rescue. 

Emergency 

The Emergency was so massive, so instantaneous,  so critical I had no time to plan help, develop a work station near me, have items for my need.  And i was bound to the same spot on the sofa from that first minute.  I decided to not complicate and go simple. No showers. Just stay alive. No friends,  no people, no instructions.  I relied on two people (one family member first 3 days stayed with me and had to leave) other can walk in with code, stay (mostly noon to dinner) and give some food for me to take meds and daily needed to leave by night. (And two friends were on standby for emergency and to be at the hospital as my advocates to see me through there – I learned how critical that was).  In the mornings I ate nuts alone, without sitting up, and took meds and waited. My hundreds of friends offered help based on what little they found out. But complex wasn’t what I could handle; i needed consistency.  I couldn’t take millions of suggestions, questions and advice. I felt exhausted with suggestions when all I had was a singular goal to live till September 3 and get help which was just not available otherwise.  I am not exaggerating but that is the nature of level 10 pain and zero vertical tolerance, that is zero ability to stand without increasing spasms of pain.

Finally D Day

Even hell becomes bearable if one can visualize a highway to heaven.  And that’s how I spent final couple of days, anticipating the end of hell. 

Hell

But in fact I encountered fresh new hell on D Day. I went for epidural shot. Reached in pain but still I was mostly supine. I have no idea why they wanted me on a hard wheelchair rolled in by my own person into the waiting room. I was writhing in pain when I got to the surgery center. I could’ve stayed put in the car until they can let me lay down. But now I’m on the wheelchair and I’m supposed to wait, the woman says.  My pain went to 10 just like that.  I began screaming and twisting and rolling up my spine unintentionally, to get respite. I told them I need to be in supine position or I’ll pass out from pain. The receptionist calmly says mam then you need to go to ER. Seriously? I really was this close to passing out. There wasn’t even a remotest possibility i could live the transition to ER. But i know now kaiser shunts everything to ER. My 10 friends told me to go to ER. I myself went to ER and i realized Kaiser ER exists as a revolving door getting same people shortest possible relief, or no relief and then put a check mark.  That very moment I felt it really was my time to die. Even though you kind of know people don’t die from pain, pain is such a thing you wish for death. I was just alternately crying and screaming in pain and everyone in the waiting room tried to be empathetic and began asking the receptionist to give me a gurney,  stretcher, or something if a bed was not available.  My friends said her eyes are rolling up, she’s going to pass out. They started begging for something that put me in supine position.  I considered getting out of the wheelchair and rolling on the floor. It was truly shocking to me that at Kaiser i can literally fall with level 10 pain and that would be procedurally appropriate than Kaiser making a 5 feet lay down material available- a sofa, chairs joined together. Stretcher,  gurney anything.  That is all what i needed before I fainted with level 10 pain. It was eye opening. And the fact that Kaiser fails to communicate down the line that even a receptionist at a hospital is a healthcare personnel,  not just a store clerk.

Hearing the ruckus, the doctor and his group of nurses came.  They were empathetic,  kind and promised to give me a bed soon. They asked some questions and then rolled me in and put me on a flat bed and instantly my pain began to go down. I was so grateful. I said thank you for keeping me alive today.  Soon after IV, taking vitals, they noticed all was fine (i have no BP, sugar. Cholesterol etc) and I was rolled in for an Epidural Cortisone shot.  The procedure was quick and I don’t know how long I will feel relief but there was some relief.  

No KAISER

So it seems I need some intervention.  A spine shot may be a temporary fix. I don’t know how temporary.  But I need to put in place a new insurance, get doc appointment,  start exploring options while i recover from this procedure.  My road to relief will depend on my ability to find an insurance that’s not afraid of treating patients and isn’t just putting check marks against number of patients seen. Today I’m grateful for great doctor, good nurses and healthcare personnel for helping me return home with some pain relief.  

The Bombing of Pan Am 103 – Netflix Series (SUMMARY & SPOILERS)

In the mini series currently streaming on #Netflix “The Bombing of Pan Am 103” the creators Jonathan Lee and Adam Morane-Griffiths give a detailed look into the aftermath of the devastating crash of the flight Pan Am 103, over the Scottish town of Lockerbie on December 21, 1988. At first, the families of the deceased passengers as well as locals impacted by the devastation that rained from the sky, are in the dark regarding the full knowledge of the event. Soon however, it comes to light that terrorism was the likely cause of the massive explosion. Ed McCusker (Connor Swindells) of the Scottish Police Criminal Investigation Department, US FBI Special Agent, Dick Marquise (Patrick J. Adams), head of the Scottish side of joint investigation, DCS Orr (Peter Mullan), bureau’s explosives specialist, Tom Thurman (Eddie Marsan), and special assistant and senior staffer to Pennsylvania Senator John Heinz, Kathryn Turman (Meritt Wever) are just some of the prominent figures involved in unraveling the crime and seeking justice for the victims’ families.

The six part mini series is a detailed, meticulous, information packed, procedural, reverential and it is an exhaustive analysis of the multi year massive unpacking of the entire event.  It stays away from any divisive rhetoric or from sensationalizing the tragedy. After the flight took off from London’s Heathrow to JFK airport in New York, just 52 minutes later at 3100 feet, it crashed on the Scottish village of Lockerbie. As it exploded into massive balls of flames, killing all 244 people on board plus 11 people on ground, the debris also destroyed homes of an entire community. While the victims came from a number of countries, 150 victims were American, including 15 active duty military personnel. Hundreds of representatives on both sides of the Atlantic got involved in the case including agencies like the FBI and later CIA from the USA, UK’s RARDE (Royal Armament Research and Development Establishment), and Scottish investigating officers.

Crime Scene

With the debris scattered over 850 miles (mid air flight explosions over land are extremely rare), the entire hundreds of miles area became a crime scene. The immediate task was to secure the crime scene and recover the victims. After that tens of thousands of pieces of physical evidence needed to be meticulously searched, bagged,  cataloged with accurate description of the area where each item was found. This was a mind boggling task of massive proportion.  Then began the meticulous construction of various narratives and testing each scenario out in the field. The investigators sifted through thousands of pieces of wreckage to locate the exact fragment of the microchip that traced the bomb to Libyan intelligence. After the initial wrangling between the FBI and the CIA, the CIA used its overseas network to provide background intelligence.

Massive support from the local Lockerbie community

While the investigators focused on investigation and evidence collection, the local community focused on the victims in ways that are incredibly moving and heart-warming. The information on the local response to the tragedy is taken from the series AND also form the internet search. Initially, the residents personally stood guard over individual bodies scattered in fields, sometimes through freezing nights, ensuring they were protected and respected until recovery teams could take hold. A church closest to most debris became a sanctuary for soldiers, police and relatives to escape and rest in the biting winter cold.  Volunteers provided hot meals, sandwiches, and endless cups of tea to thousands of soldiers, and investigators. Older residents baked continuous trays of scones and cakes. Local radio operators provided emergency communication links, many opened their homes to house and feed visiting families. When the police completed gathering and making notes of the forensic evidence from 850 miles debris, the “laundry ladies” of Lockerbie spent months washing, drying, ironing, and neatly folding every single piece of clothing salvaged, repackaged them with other belongings including unopened Christmas presents and included a small sprig of fresh Scottish heather inside each bag before handing it over to the police who then traveled to return them to grieving families worldwide. 

While the FBI initially ignored the grieving families, until Kathryn Turman took charge, the FBI later noted that its entire modern victim services division in the aftermath of community disasters is largely modeled after the profound human kindness and compassion shown by the Lockerbie community.

The trial, the conviction and a small measure of closure….

Uniquely international court proceedings for justice involved two Libyan intelligence agents tried under Scottish law on a designated piece of neutral soil in the Netherlands at the cost of $80 M, making it one of the most expensive trials of its time. This massive murder trial involved 1200 witnesses, ran for 84 days and there were 3M words spoken in the court. On January 31, 2001, when the judges reached a verdict, it seemed to provide only some measure of closure. Of the two defendants, Fhima was found not guilty and Albasset Al Magrahi was found guilty and condemned to 20 years in prison for the mass murder of 255 people. 

NOW

• Al Magrahi was released in 2009, on compassionate grounds, after being diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. He received a hero’s welcome in Libya and died 3 years after release. Steven
• Flannigan (Archie McCormick) a young 14 year old Scottish man who lost most of his family, was heart-broken. It is believed that the trauma never left him. He died in the year 2000, struck by a train. Some believed it to be suicide and other believed it to be an accident.
• Libyan leader Gaddafi ordered the Libyan state to pay $2.7B in compensation for the attack. 

Words spoken at the memorial after the trial

Out of the ashes of disaster, came a torrent of love and compassion and help. This town’s character lies in the efforts of the ordinary people to rebuild – to set up generously in the most extraordinary circumstance and to make whole some of what was destroyed. Families from all over the world were welcomed here. Kindness and communication arose from the worst atrocity. Lockerbie has set an example, we hope future generations will follow. 

Action Steps

The UK and US based victim support groups revolutionized aviation security and victim support worldwide. Their lobbying resulted in key reforms from strengthening travel warning systems and tighter baggage screening to people centered responses to major disasters. 

Kaiser Permanente may not be the one for me…

This is an open letter to Kaiser Permanente.  Kaiser was the HMO I chose and stayed with it for over 25 years because Kaiser promised coordinated care under one roof. And although I never required much care, when I went for my physical etc. I found compassion.  

That is clearly not so anymore.  On August 24, 2026, Monday morning I woke up with intense sciatica pain. The pain was at level 10. I called Kaiser and asked to schedule epidural shot in the back.  I was told to contact primary, then pain clinic then spine doctor then finally someone called to schedule it for November.  No doctor talked to me.  Again and again i explained that i was at level 10 pain. I could not sit, stand or lie down.  I called several Kaiser facilities at Fremont,  Union City,  San Leandro, Oakland and even Richmond. Nothing available till December there.  Who can endure level 10 pain for 4 months? I asked if I go to urgent care or emergency then can I get relief for level 10 pain? I was told no one will give me a pain shot. And considering that I couldn’t even take a step i could not risk a trip to the hospital without knowing the outcome. I walked a few steps to the kitchen to eat and the pain got so intense,  I felt like I would faint. So I gave up food and came and lied down.  

Fortunately AI came to the rescue.  Gemini said it’s unbelievable that no one has suggested anything and then told me to contact a doctor for oral steroid. Fortunately my primary responded and put in an order and my friend collected it that night. Today is day 3. My pain is just as intense. No change. But my doctor AI is telling me what to do… as in keeping faith and give time for prednisone to work while keeping an eye that I have no foot drop or foot numbness,  and no saddle numbness.

I had one more experience at Kaiser in June 2023, I fell down on a trip at Sarajevo,  Bosnia and broke my wrist.  The doc put a plaster but it had holes so I can travel back and told me to get proper plaster within 8 to 10 days.  From there I sent multiple messages that as soon as I return back to the USA, I will need a plaster. When I returned I spent a day in the parking lot at Kaiser. Finally I returned dejected that no plaster would be available for a month.  I called a sports medicine friend and she said, if you just can’t get then it’s ok to stay with this plaster with holes.

It just seems that Kaiser should no more be my provider or may not be a right choice for any older person. The facility that promised coordinated seamless care is now a facility that seamlessly transfers responsibility until the patient goes away. 

I don’t blame any of my physicians. My primary doctor at least immediately stepped up and prescribed prednisone and though it has had no effect yet in the pain level when I stand or walk, at least I’m able to lie down and I eat nuts in bed lying down and then take prednisone and hope it will get me on my feet. Also I don’t blame physicians because they work within a system. And then maybe one can’t blame a system if the whole state of healthcare in our country is critically compromised…which is a much bigger discussion. 

But what I know is that as soon as I’m better,  I need to do research and find another option for myself. At least for myself I should find a provider that will take level 10 pain seriously, give suggestions,  maybe show compassion and suggest a solution. And I hope I feel better tomorrow. And while increasingly wealthier people have better access to better resources,  services, healthcare, can fasttrack IPO to a trillionaire status, at least AI is an equalizer for now. 

The Predator of Seville – #Netflix Series Review

The Predator of Seville is a gripping three part true crime documentary on #Netflix. It follows crime survivor Gabrielle Vega through her struggle to come to terms with her experience and her fight for justice against a serial sex offender Manuel Blanco who also went as Manu White.

Manu worked as a tour guide for a company called Discover Excursions. The company overwhelmingly catered to young students enrolled in study abroad programs in Spain and who took trips during their off days or vacations. As a tour guide, Manu got access to young students and he likely drugged and sexually assaulted hundreds of girls. 

It is a gripping and unsettling account of how these young women struggled to come to terms with their experience. It was however, only after survivor Gabrielle Vega’s relentless efforts to get to the bottom of truth that many of these young women began to come forward with their own stories and the story started to become bigger and bigger.    

Since I travel a great deal, I have had experiences of tour guides in several countries looking to befriend young girls. A couple of decades back, when my friend and I were younger and were traveling to Egypt, we encountered a tour guide who insisted that he could take me and my friend to see some sights not included in the itinerary. I told him that there wasn’t much time since it was a packed tour. He insisted that time could be carved out on a day that ended early, we would leave in the evening and he could drive during the night and take us to see the sights to another city, several miles away. He said we can sleep in the car on the ride back and he would bring us back by early morning. My friend and I were inquisitive but we were definitely not planning on separating from the group. However, when my friend noticed that he was consistently trying to befriend us and trying to get us alone, offered to buy drinks for us, then she told me that we were absolutely not going to separate and no matter what we should stay together the entire time.

I cannot fault these girls as they were so much younger and they grew up in relative safety in a place of law and order in the USA. However, I was aghast when in the first episode, the guide took three girls to his room and began to make sexual advances, when the two girls escaped, leaving Amanda asleep in his room. How? When you know his intentions, how can you leave your friend and not even call the cops or try to get some help for her? That was truly astounding to me. When this girl woke up then she noticed that she was lying completely naked, next to this man also lying there completely naked. In another episode, from the two girls who were with Manuel in his room, one was later found dead, assumed to have fallen from his apartment. Her mother insists her daughter was in fact murdered by Manuel Blanco. Fortunately the friends of Zora in episode 3, refused to leave Zora alone (after she was sick with the drug he was likely putting into their drinks). Despite Manuel reassuring her friends that he will later bring her back safely, they refused to leave without her. 

Gabrielle takes a defiant stand in her fearless and relentless pursuit for accountability and justice. Years after he sexually assaulted Gabrielle, he was finally found guilty in the court of Spain and was sentenced to six years in prison for the rape of Gabrielle and two years were added for his assault on her two friends. 

In the end, as a mother, I will add a precautionary note for young women traveling to other countries, to drink in moderation, get or fix your own drinks and be vigilant and cautious about being alone with a man in a foreign land until you get to know them well and if you travel with friends then make sure they are the kind who will have your back and you, theirs. 

A Friend, A Murderer: #Netflix Series Review

Three episode Danish series, “A Friend, A Murderer”, directed by Christian Dyekjær, is a true crime docuseries that begins with the disappearance of a 17 year old girl in July, 2016. This shocking event in a small town, drew hundreds of people to come together and organize search parties. However, when the search remained unsuccessful, people began suspecting their neighbors and others and the town where everyone felt safe was now suddenly on edge for months. After a long six month period, the girl’s body was found and subsequently after other crimes came to light, the perpetrator Philip Patrick Westh was found and sentenced.

The docuseries focuses on a close knit and wholly unsuspecting group of friends who considered the perpetrator a close friend. While the case went cold, Patrick partied and lived a normal life with his friends. The psychological toll it took on all friends and more specifically on his closest friend, Nichlas is painful and heartbreaking to watch. Nichlas and Patrick were close friends for over 15 years and were roommates for several years. Yet Patrick with schizoid personality disorder easily lived a double life. For Nichlas, it caused a profound collapse of psychological reality and trust in people. Patrick’s double life had such a deep impact on Nichlas, that it shattered his sense of intuition and led to complete loss of self trust. Nichlas had to take several anti anxiety medications. Another friend Amanda said, “I feared the perpetrator being out there and that I could be the next victim but when I realized it was one of my closest friends, my world shattered”.

Indeed, for a brief few minutes, loss of self trust and grief would engulf anyone watching the series and would make anyone wonder who can we really trust in life, if not our closest friends?

Should I marry a murder – #Netflix Series Review

Directed by Josh Allott, this 3 episode series follows the journey of Dr. Caroline Muirhead, a Scottish pathologist’s erratic romantic journey with a Scottish farmer she met on Tinder, Sandy McKellar. 

Muirhead just out of a heart-breaking relationship, meets McKellar and they find mutual chemistry and almost immediately fall in love, soon announcing wedding plans. The series tracks their relationship, substance abuse and Muirhead’s discovery of McKellar’s past. McKellar confessed to her of a fatal 2017 hit-and-run accident with Tony Parsons, and Muirhead’s sense of morality forced her to inform the police.  The law enforcement and prosecutors gravely mismanaged the case and failed to provide proper protection or deal with empathy for Muirhead, their key witness. Muirhead was forced out of her job, went through covid era seclusion. She goes back to McKellar, driven in equal measure by grief, loneliness and fear and attracted by the feeling of sanctuary she found with McKellar. 

The story tracks her psychological reasoning of going back and forth, their mutual chemistry, and her fight in her head with her sense of ethics and morality and finally how she finds her way back to the “right thing to do”. The audience reaction is mixed with some criticizing her choices of going back and forth with Mckellar, her substance abuse and falling apart while others credit her for finding her way after much psychological wrangling. To be a key witness in a murder case puts a heavy burden on a person and it is a job of the law enforcement to provide her access to therapy and counseling and other resources for her protection. I credit Dr. Muirhead for finding her true path after a challenging journey.

The Idaho Murders: #Netflix Series Summary – SPOILERS

At a house near the University of Idaho’s Moscow campus, four young students were found stabbed to death, on November 13, 2022. The house was shared by several students who were friends and housemates. Madison Mogen and Kaylee Goncalves were stabbed in a room on the third floor and Xana Kernodle and her boyfriend, Ethan Chapin were slayed in Xana’s room on the second floor. After brutally slaying all four victims with multiple stabbings, the perpetrator did not kill others but instead made a quick getaway. 

Directed by Skye Borgman, with executive producer Joe Berlinger, the series honors the victims and their families, the meticulous police officers and the tight knit student community. The series covers the timeline from the first 911 calls and police footage to the huge national interest it generated along with many conspiracy theories being floated about the identity of the killer. But the police stayed away from the headlines and put their nose to the grindstone and ultimately their efforts led to the arrest of a PhD student in the Criminology department at Washington University, Bryan Kohberger. Given the airtight case brought against him, Kohberger pled guilty in exchange for serving life in prison and managed to get the death penalty off the table.

While this brought a certain measure of quick closure to the families, the killer’s exact reasons for the dastardly deed remained opaque. While some members of the victims’ families interviewed for the documentary were unhappy that death penalty was off the table, and others at least hoped to hear from him regarding the reasons behind his actions, yet others felt that the plea deal saved them long drawn out closure and made space for them to focus on healing and on the future. Several members of the victims families shared emotional and heart-breaking victim impact statements at his sentencing. 

Moscow’s Police chief Dahlinger maintains that, in a way, Kohberger received a form of death penalty: “He is sentenced to die in prison”.  The other kids including the slain young people’s college buddies, siblings and friends held a memorial party after the sentencing. These kids were full of innocence and yet on the step of adulthood, full of hopes, dreams and passion had their spirit crushed by the tragedy. It was nice to hear them talk about getting back together to party, cry, laugh, share memories and once again be goofy, funny and full of life. 

Musafir Cafe (A Painful Watch) on Netflix: Series Review – HAS SPOILERS

Adapted from a novel by Divya Prakash Dubey, “Musafir Cafe” the 8 episode series currently streaming on #Netflix stars Vikrant Massey (Chander), Vedika Pinto (Sudha), and Mahima Makwana (Preeti). 

I disliked the show and the first three episodes were immensely painful to watch and I wouldn’t have suffered through it or written a review. But my friends liked it. I was intrigued and suffered through it and disliked it all the way to the end. It is possible that the original story gave these characters well deserved depth and intensity and turning that into a series changed it. The director of the series is Ruchir Arun and writing credits are shared by Sharanya Rajgopal.        

Here, one story is about the couple, Chander and Sudha (set up by their mothers, with the clear intention that mutual liking would lead to marriage). If sudha was clear that the marriage was not in her plan at that time or ever, she only had to explain it to her mother who seemed accepting and respectful of her daughter’s desires. Sudha and Chander meet and find that their chemistry matched, Chander enjoys the spontaneity Sudha brought into his planned daily life. At first Sudha seems refreshingly flirty and so begins their rip roaring love relationship.

Sudha’s flirtiness soon seems cloying and painful to watch (made me suspicious of her ulterior motives and reminded me of Siya Goyal, the murderer in the Pune case), but Chander remains totally enamored by her. Despite the fact Sudha met Chander, initiated and continues to flirt with him, her words tell a different story. She insists that marriage is not in her life plan. One can’t help but wonder, why then did she go on a date to meet a potential marriage match and why she calls him one night and asks to move in with him. One night Chander tells her “I am falling in….” and she interrupts and says, “I know”. Then he says, “what are you!” and she says, “unforgettable life experience”. To me, she sounds like a diva, not even reciprocating with her love in their intimate moment. When Chander says, I am not sure how to explain our relationship to my mother, Sudha says, tell her, this girl is all about lust, lust and lust.  IF the majority of us would object to a man (unless maintaining independence was their mutually accepted intention), interested in nothing but lust in a relationship and only concerned with his life, his familial obligations, his career and his world travel desires with no space for a companion in life’s journey, then why would we find it totally acceptable in a woman?  

So here is Sudha who craves the thrill of being in love, craves the control of pulling and pushing away Chander, of flitting between intimacy and detached independence but refuses to take any accountability. She “magnanimously” advises Chander to move to Mumbai to follow his dreams and then moves out of his apartment, leaving him with a broken heart. The worst aspect of the whole sordid relationship was that when Chander calls her at home for one last try to get together, Sudha screams at him for calling her at home and talking to her mother, as if he was nobody. 

Chander moves on and finds another person, Preeti with great chemistry. Perhaps Chander and Preeti did not have the same kind of spark and intensity as Chander and Sudha (all relationships are different). But Chander and Preeti share similar life dreams, together they work hard, not on pipe dreams, but on real achievable goals and begin to turn their cherished dream into reality. They both concur that even when two people may have separate independent dreams, when two people get together, their dreams may evolve. That shows their maturity because at the minimum, loving another person demands a whole lot of flexibility.

Then Sudha (now engaged to Vineet) decides to make a reappearance, invites Chander for a walk and ruefully tells him his dreams are very real whereas she finds something lacking in her own life.  This girl seems haphazard and senseless. Driven by adrenaline, she seeks adventure and whatever she seeks out to achieve is within her reach, then she loses interest and goes after another shining new thing. She does not have relationships with depth or meaning but those that she can control and play with. Chander’s new partner, Preeti is aware that Sudha’s reappearance could derail her own relationship and breaks down silently.  And yet she gives Sudha credit for Chander’s success and requests her to stay, acknowledging the greatness of Chander and Sudha’s relationship. Has no one in this series a clear head on their shoulders? These days, nearly everyone has a past. That does not mean that anyone owes it to help their partner meet their ex for any reason. So here’s a silly relationship driven by an unsteady girl with a boy who himself acknowledges that every time he falls in love, he forgets himself (he has a sweet and giving temperament) and then there is his second steady, practical, and hard working partner who becomes a martyr, jeopardizing her own relationship to the man she loves deeply….….. Oh what a mess.  A short movie of this love triangle would be painful enough, but an entire series with more to come?

My recommendation: Give a thumbs down, get it out of your queue and move on. 

She Said: Movie Review

I re-watched the film “She Said”, directed by Maria Schrader, starring Carey Mulligan (two-time Academy Award nominee) and Zoe Kazan (Emmy nominee) as New York Times journalists Megan Twohey and Jody Kantor. They are supported by a stellar cast that completely understands the gravity of the events. Their reporting broke one of the most important stories in a generation. This powerfully vetted, detailed, and fantastic piece of journalism ultimately helped bring down Harvey Weinstein, once one of the most untouchable titans in Hollywood.

The film tracks the intense backend process of reporting on a deeply entrenched system of abuse. Twohey and Kantor cold-call sources and show up unannounced at the doors of women terrified to speak. They strategically navigate how to bypass restrictive Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDAs) while pushing back against Weinstein’s belligerent legal cadre of prominent attorneys. Much rested on their ability to secure on-the-record quotes from sources who were willing to name names. There was an immense amount to lose—not only for the news outlet, but for the countless women who risked further ruin by sharing their trauma. If the story was not flawlessly vetted, it would fall apart under heavy legal threats. Their team of editors, supervisors, lawyers, and fact-checkers worked meticulously alongside them to ensure the reporting was entirely airtight before publication.

In the aftermath of the Jeffrey Epstein saga, where victims still await justice against a myriad of wealthy abusers, She Said is a vital re-visit of the catalyst that sparked the worldwide #MeToo movement. I had also shared my own “MeToo” story of being inappropriately groped in India, as a little girl. The media exposures and global MeToo story sharing led to sweeping reforms, including state and federal laws restricting NDAs, bans on forced arbitration, tighter union codes of conduct, and a shift in corporate tolerance for misconduct. Kudos to journalists who continue to follow Epstein victims and to our leaders for their continued demand for justice for the Epstein victims.

Today, following the shocking April 2024 reversal of his original New York conviction, the critically ill Weinstein remains behind bars at a correctional facility in New York awaiting a retrial, while concurrently facing a separate 16-year sentence handed down in California.

Let’s do math today

Here are some math questions. Answers are below this post.
* Do you know how many zeros are in a trillion?
* What is the big deal in going from a B to a T?
* IF a person is to spend $1 M every single day then how long would it take for him to spend $1 T?

In June 2026, an American became a trillionaire.

This individual’s combined net worth is higher than the joined net worth of Google, Amazon, Oracle and Facebook founders – Sergey Brin, Jeff Bezos, Larry Ellison and Mark Zuckerberg.

Of course you must know this newly minted TRILLIONAIRE is Elon Musk. His company SpaceX went public and within first minute on NASDAQ he became a trillionaire. Is company’s value really worth 2T dollars, it now shows? No. We know, it is way below that. But Musk is a dream weaver. He sells dreams. The step to become a modest home owner is the most challenging and therefore we all remember our first home and how much it took to own our own home. But once you are a home owner, it becomes easy to move into bigger one and also wanting more doesn’t look like greed, but a natural part of human existence. Similarly when you become a billionaire (even on paper), paths open up. The more money you have, the more paths open for you to pay less taxes and enjoy other benefits. For instance, these people keep their money on paper (in stocks), sometimes borrow against stocks but don’t sell the stocks so they pay very little income tax. Musk has paid less than 4 % in taxes. And when they die and their kids inherit the stocks then they are forgiven capital gains tax.

So why the valuation that is not based on fundamentals? Musk is known as the richest man and he sells dreams and people put money on his dreams. Economist Mihir Desai calls it a financial cult. Another economist says SpaceX valuation is hyped by science fiction cult.

Why is it allowed? Why no regulations? Like I said, the more money you have, the more influence you have and you can help yourself by impacting the regulations in your favor. Musk spent nearly $300 M to help Trump win the elections. That gave him visibility to meet heads of countries like India, Russia and more, finally resulting in benefits like ability to get Starlink in India.

NASDAQ had strict rules on not allowing companies to be listed until their net worth is proven so people don’t lose money on them, because many retirement funds in the USA invest in big Index funds like NASDAQ. Companies had to wait months and even years to go through due diligence. But on the demand from SPACEX, rules were changed and fast entry rule was implemented. Moreover, 10 days before the IPO, SEC implemented a new rule exempting the brokers from consumer protection rules, potentially jeopardizing common investors like us.

Why am I saying all this? Just so that — we know and we take care of ourselves. It is not to say one politician is better than the other. In fact, increasingly they all serve at the pleasure of these super wealthy people, regardless of the party. The thing we need to know is that they don’t need our help to bend rules in their favor. We don’t need to protect anymore capitalism to the extreme end where what we are doing is protecting THEIR wealth, while we work our butts off to meet our mortgage payments. And we must remember, if they sink, they have multiple protections, but we may never find the shore again. As savvy citizens, we need to fund the right politicians (yes, we still need to donate — IF money works for them, money works for us too), and no blind allegience (andh bhakti) — all politicians need to be on a short leash and held answerable to us, the people, be willing to answer questions, and engage in dialogues.

One more thing……. I have friends who are like me, not so good with math. Thankfully, math can be learned and I am good with logic so I can explain. And here’s the logic. Most of us don’t play in billions. Most of us play way below that. And we look at others like us. So my friends complain about people milking social security or talk about medicare frauds. They feel deeply concerned that while they live with honesty and integrity, there are others who milk the system. OF COURSE, we must not allow anyone to get away and all fraudulent activities must be quoshed. BUT we must also consider the LEGAL UNFAIRNESS that occurs at high levels when zeros are added AND what we stand to lose then. You can figure out the rest.

NOW THE ANSWERS
How many zeros are in a trillion – 12

It does not seem like a huge difference when if we just swap B with T. But consider this – 1 million seconds will take 11.6 days, a billion seconds will take 32 years, BUT a trillion seconds will take 31,700 years.

How long it would take a person to spend 1 trillion dollars, if they spend $1M every single day? – 2700+ years – YES two thousand sevn hundred plus years.

Credit for most of the information shared above goes to: Druv Rathee